April 7, 2011

what i wore : margaritas & mental illness

What a whirlwind week this has been!
Here's what I wore to have top shelf margaritas & tableside guacamole...& more margaritas...& more guacamole...at Cantina Loredo.

jeans & top - forever 21; shoes - mia (purchase here); necklace - vintage

& over $100 later, we decided we had had enough. But let's be honest, we'll probably go back tomorrow night for more.

This week has been a struggle. My anxiety seems to be building up a bit lately. Most likely because of the impending job switch that will be happening soon. As much as I try not to let it run my life, I know deep down that anxiety is a big part of me. The truth is, I have a little secret. I struggle with general anxiety disorder & a few weird side affects from that that I'm not quite ready to share. This means I am stressed out 24/7 & alot of it unfortunately, is completely subconscious. It affects me both mentally, emotionally, & even physically on a day to day basis. On most days, my anxiety gives me a dull feeling in my stomach. It makes me feel slightly short of breath & sometimes a little spacey. On my bad days, I am extremely irritable, emotional, & completely neurotic (in my opinion). I get very impatient & short with those who try to carry a conversation with me. I get extremely task oriented & insist on making a list of things to keep my hands busy, busy, busy. I feel like the more I physically do, the better I can push the anxiety away. & it's always worked until recently.

Over the past year or two, I have discovered that working out gives me a sense of calm that I can't find through any other coping techniques. That's been my main coping mechanism & de-stresser these past few months & I must say, it's paying off in unexpected ways! By channeling my anxiety into something positive (ie: educating myself on fitness), I've lost 6 pounds & discovered a whole fitness world that I never even knew about. I try to spend thirty minutes to an hour in the gym every day. Most weeks I'll usually accomplish this 5 days a week, which is a start. I love reading fitness magazines & blogs for different work-out ideas & challenges. For once in my life, I'm actually excited about bikini shopping. This my friends, is a great start to 2011. :)

Do you have issues with sress & anxiety? How do you cope? I'd love to hear!


  1. I get terrible anxiety, complete with that sickly feeling in the pit of my stomach. Mostly about my relationship, and social stressors... and getting on airplanes. Never really school stuff, though, but when I do worry about school stuff I just get really tired, and irate at almost everyone. Oh, and I worry about almost anything a human could worry about, lol

    glad you're feeling better, working out helps me too... it's something that you can control that has direct good effects, I love it!

    & I love those shoes :)

  2. I try not to think about it, but the anxiety always gets me when I'm lying in bed. It prevents me from falling asleep and that sucks. Sometimes I'm lying awake for hours, worrying about the future and about life in general. It feels like you describe it, that weird feeling in your stomach and the difficulty with breathing.

    I wish I had some tips for you, but I'm afraid the only thing that helps me is exercising (running). And you already do that.

    But talking about it now and then also helps, in my opinion. Just talk about how you feel sometimes with someone you trust. It doesn't solve your problems, but at least you might feel better and find out that you're not the only one.

  3. I love your shoes.

    I can't say that I get really bad anxiety, but I do from time to time. I find myself trying to get out of new situations, but I remind myself that I will be fine. I'm glad you've found that running helps, just continue with that and in the meantime try various activities that might also help.

  4. I am LOVING those shoes!! Too cute! <3

  5. Yes! It comes and goes for me. Since I've been living in a foreign country for the past 2.5 years...it's been pretty bad! Plus, my work situation hasn't been so stable with my positions changing every few months! One thing I like to do is just immerse myself in things I love. Music, beautiful writing, photography etc. etc. I'll zone out...and eventually tell myself change is inevitable, laugh it off and just say, I can do it. I pretend to be like one of those people who are so overly confident about doing anything. And then the anxiety comes back...cope and repeat. =)

    Hang in there! You're gonna do great on your new job! And if anybody gives you a hard time for being a newbie...it helps to expect a little bit of it, but you can handle it! You can do it.

  6. you look amazing! i love that top and now i want it. :)

    hang in there! anxiety is a meanie.

  7. ugh i totally know what you're talking about! i have what they call "anticipatory anxiety"- that pretty much speaks for itself. my work/lifestyle has been very structured, so i've found that when i do something new or even the smallest bit out of my comfort level i get intense panic attacks which then result in the worst stomach pains known to man. it gets to the point where i almost either puke or faint. my doctor seems to think i have issues with being a perfectionist and so when things aren't up to my standards, i subconsciously freak-out. not sure if you're this bad, but i've found a mixture of good medicine and exercise helps.